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Thursday, October 4th, 2001
11:53 am - Actual Job Application ...
Actual Job Application ...

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

current mood: amused

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11:44 am - Obviously
I am obviously behind in my entries. Go figure! I have been busy. Jesse was just put on orders for a year plus. However, it isn't so bad because they will have him on 4 10's (4 days a week, 10 hours a day) and he will get 3 days off a week. That will be so nice!

Justin is doing good in school. He has had you typical childhood problems, talking during class, being a kid. I found a new way to discipline him, muhahahaha. I remember when I was little, a baby-sitter I had for a long time use to make us write sentences when we did something wrong. How I hated it! So when Justin had a bad day, I found a font on the web for kids, a traceable font. I typed up 5 sentences over and over "I will not talk during class" and he had to sit down and trace each one. He was a little bitter, but did fine. With it he learns his lesson, plus learns a little more about reading and writing, so it was for the best.

current mood: exhausted

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Monday, September 24th, 2001
10:13 am - He He! Revenge On Telemarketers
I found this on the web and thought it was too funny!

AT&T (Revenge On Telemarketers)

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:


Me: Hello

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T This is AT&T.

Me: OK, hold on.


At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

Me: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?

Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.

Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

Me You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......

Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me!

AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....

Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!

AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

AT&T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on.

So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?

Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT&T: (click)

current mood: amused

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10:07 am - Skating Party!
Justin Lee has a PTA Skate Party tonight and of course we are going to go. He doesn't know how to skate and I can't wait to teach him. I can hear his gripes now "Mama no, I don't wanna, I'll fall down ..." hehe. He is still at the age where trying new things are a little scary. He also is at the age that if mama wants him to do it, gosh forbid take pictures, then he definitely doesn't wanna ... (I will post how it goes, later tonight)

current mood: awake

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Friday, September 21st, 2001
11:07 am - Day 2 Day!
Boy talk about being busy! I am so far behind on my entries but oh well, this is a release for me when needed. I have been doing well and a lot of things have happened since my last entry.

Update: Justin Lee is doing wonderful in school! He has made a lot of friends, is well behaved, and generally VERY happy with his teacher and classmates.

He lost his first tooth yesterday. Aw, he is growing up so fast. He explained "Momma' I was eattin apple slices and my toot' just came out and I put it on my tray." With his finger pressed and tongue twisting between two toofis' (sorry I use silly terms hehe) he smiled the biggest smile. He explained he was growin up and asked if he was any bigger? I had to laugh and say "yes baby you are gettin sooooo big and grow more and more every single day." He concluded that losing his first tooth made him well, a man now lol. I am in trouble!

Of course after many click click FLASHES, pictures were taken to mark this occasion. He dumped his tooth out with his lunch, aw ... and didn't even tell anyone. What a big boy, no fear, no questions, he just went about eatting his lunch. It makes me feel good because it shows that all the times I had explained things like this before, he listened and it did sooth his worries. Kids are clever!

WTC: Of course by now all are aware of the Word Trade Center tragedy in NY and the Pentagon. I live in Virginia and this has impacted my family.

My husband is in the Air National Guard, a TSgt. He is currently on orders and I won't compromise things by spouting details. I truly believe in not revealing sensitive information via unsecured communications.

What I will say is I love and miss him very much. This has kept him away from home day after day, night after night. I am strong and can handle things on my side and contribute. My support and prayers are with families who have been impacted. I have mixed feelings because I am a veteran (former military, 8 years USAF/ANG SSgt Public Health/Decon). I am also however a Jehovah Witness bible study. This is my chosen faith and it has brought so much comfort to my life and family.

I will do an entry concerning my religious beliefs in the near future. I however do not wish to cause confusion, so I will wait until my own bible study is complete. Jehovah provides such filling spiritual food (as you must eat to live, the same can be said for faith and knowing Jehovah), the bible.

current mood: cheerful

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Friday, September 7th, 2001
10:43 am - The Usual Topic: My Baby, Justin Lee ...
Justin Lee is doing GREAT in school! He is having sooooo much fun! My baby, Justin Lee ... (see below)




Welcome Back Bulldogs!!!!!


current mood: happy

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Wednesday, September 5th, 2001
12:03 pm - What a Relief!
04-Sept-01: When we picked Justin up from school that afternoon, we were both excited wanting to hear how his day went. Waiting in the hall, outside his classroom we stared. We both felt ridiculous and a little obsessive, but we just had to know.

Jesse and I talked and laughed about the morning, dropping Justin Lee off, wondering how things went for the little man.

Justin had asked me that morning "Mommy are you gonna come visit me in school?" In shocked it suddenly hit me, poor guy, he doesn't understand that you don't live at school. "Aw, baby I am gonna come pick you up, school isn't your home silly ... you gotta come home with mommy, school is for learnin your colors and numbers baby ... you always come home, you will always be with us ..." in panic I rambled, feeling bad that I had not clarified better, that he had to even endure a moment of fear and wonderment, "Am I being abandoned?" he must have thought. I snuggled him and let go, Jesse and I had a hard time letting go but we did, kiss after kiss, we finally did.

Now we are here picking him up, proving to him that we can be trusted to return and fetch him, hehe. He saw me through the little window in the door and smiled bright, he was cheesin all over the place, just happy it seemed that we had in fact come back to get'im.

Jesse said "let's go in and get'im" and opened the door, the bell was gonna ring in a minute or two anyhow. The teacher smiled, she said he had a good day aside from returning from recess and going into the wrong classroom, lol. While in line, walking to the water fountain, apparently Justin went in another Kindergarten class and sat down. Both teachers laughed and showed Justin to his class.

Grabbing his book-bag, he said his good-byes, and that was the best! All the little ones began to scream "bye JUSTIN, BYE JUSTIN ... see ya 'morrow jUsTiNNNNNNN ... so long Justin, AHHHHH ... JUSTIN'S A DINOSAUR, BYE JUSTIN ..." little hands waving all around, the screams splitting the brain, but that was their language after all, hehe ...

We were so delighted that he had made friends and the whole class was getting along so well. We walked to the entrance and on the way, one of the older kids tapped Justin's shoulder and said "cool backpack ..." Justin looked proud and muttered "yeah yeah it is cool, it's a T-Rex ..." and wandered off, lol ... what a beautiful day for him, BUT A SAD LONELY ONE FOR MOMMY! *cries*

current mood: relieved

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11:45 am - Everything is Gonna be OK?!
Well, of course I missed an entry, busy busy ...

04-Sept-01: Justin's first day of school. He was so excited! JP (Jurassic Park) from head to toe. I thought he would never stop smilin'. We got to school too early, showing our inexperience. Justin, Daddy, and I wandered around the halls for a bit, showing him around. With camera in hand, picture after picture was taken. I will be so excited to get them developed, but hafta wait till Friday, when Jesse gets paid.

All the students had to go to the gym and sit in a line, according to grade. Justin sat down with his big ole book-bag, looking shocked. All the kids chattering away, he just peered over the top of his backpack with a mixture of fear and excitement. The boy in front of him, another Kindergartner, turned around and spoke to him. Jesse and I couldn't hear what they were saying, but before too long Justin was showing him the dinosaur on his shirt, shoes, and backpack.

I was very worried when the bell rang. There were so many kids and they filed them out by grade. The Kindergartners went first and Jesse and I followed behind the line, watching. Soon Justin was dropped off at his classroom, hanged up his pack, and quietly found a place to sit. Now he looked really scared, uncertain where to sit. The teacher called the children to the rug and slowly Justin found his way and sat down. Suddenly his hand was in the air. I had to laugh and whispered to Jesse how when Justin and I played school, I taught him to raise his hand. The teacher laughed and called on him "Yes Justin?" ... he was silent for a moment before saying "I saw the Jurassic Park Movie, all of'em" ... she smiles and said "really?!" he nodded tuggin at his shirt, drawing attention to the picture. I new he was going to be ok and we made our way to the door and home.

When I got home it finally hit me, I am all alone. I started crying and was overtaken with panic. I kept worrying about Justin, what if they don't keep up with him, what if he gets lost in the school and goes outside, what if, what if?! Jesse comforted me and went to work. Inside the house I sniveled, missing Justin's voice asking for a drink, a snack, wanting to watch Nickelodeon, etc., and sat down. I turned the TV to Nickelodeon and left it there all day, just because it made me feel better.

current mood: lonely

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Sunday, September 2nd, 2001
4:38 am - New Fond Memories!
Talk about an early morning entry *yawns* here is one for sure, hehe. I haven't had much time after a busy Friday blending into a fun weekend with family. Here are a few tidbits:

Friday: What a relief! Open house was today. I was nervous about seeing Justin's school, meeting his teacher. I suppose I am a tad paranoid. The images that remain in my head are rather morbid to say the least. I wonder if anyone can just walk in the school, blend in, whatever, you get the hint.

The world today can offer little to no comfort for mothers and fathers. The news effortlessly reminding me of this day after day. You can hardly turn the channel without being overwhelmed with constant tragedy.

However, Justin's Kindergarten teacher was wonderful. She seemed so realistic, protective, and genuine. I shared my concerns and she reassured me that I was by far not alone. Many parents take these steps with fear.

I am not the kind of parent to make even the smallest of mistakes when it comes to the care and safety of my child. If anything, my greatest mistake is over protection. My sons little hand always held tightly in mine, never allowing him to leave my sight. I feel the need to always watch over him. I know he is just 5 so this is appropriate in many ways, but I feel as though the threats are always there and always will be.

I take my parenting seriously. I see myself no less than a tigress. Seemingly soft and approachable, unless my instincts should send me to wish to dominate my surroundings and circle my cub protectively, hehe. That is an image that remains in my head. I have even found myself planning ahead.

I envision the steps I would take. The stranger hanging out in Chucke Cheese without a child. Why is he here, what is his intentions? I find my hard stare on him accusingly, imagining if he should even take a single step towards my cub I will in fact pounce. I see the images of my little fists attacking his face, claws, screams, snarls ... my legs doing unreal kicks to the throat, something I am not capable of -- of course, but in my mind I hold the greatest of skills and attack with such fierce will he remains shredded at my feet. Then of course I note the stranger approach his wife and his little one, smiling bright and trying to find a quarter for the machine. I then am forced to wonder why do I act this way, think this way, what has my instincts turned me into? My son enjoys his day while I lurk about ready to attack. I understand why a mother bear attacks without real threat, because it has already played in her mind and prevention is the key. It doesn't matter what you could have done, all that matters is destroying the possibilities.

Saturday: What fun, I won't go into great detail but this is a memory I shall cherish. Of all the wonderful things I have seen and explored in my life it is amazing how something so small can mean so much.

I thought conquering basic training and achieving the absolute praise of my TI was tops. I thought my achievements in technical training or become a necessity and leader on the decon team was a WOW, look at me. I thought all my medals, ribbons, and recognition would mean so much, what memories, right? Only as quickly as I pin them, they are forgotten.

Now as a mother, the memories that remain day after day are these. My husband and I sat in the floor to teach my son Go Fish. We laughed at how quickly he declared his victory regardless. His face was so bright, smile so big, as he asked "daddy ..." letting it linger "do you have an orange sea horse, hmmmmm?" Daddy would smile and nod, handing it over "Why yes I do Booman?" he would smack the matching cards down and throw his arms in the air yellin' "I won, I won, I have 2 orange sea horses" of course ignoring the three cards remaining in his hand. It was the small victories that counted, he didn't have to Go Fish.

We had so much fun, we decided to teach him Old Maid as well. He became clever and serious. The player unfortunate enough to be the one holding the Old Maid was clearly the loser, aw. However, not in Justin's interpretation. If he didn't have the Old Maid he won and if he did, well there was only one out of all those cards, being the one to have it had to be special after all. He would hold it up with pride, declaring "I won" ... we laughed and new explanation was futile, his reasoning would just be declared beyond our adult minds. It was a true memory I will always keep.


current mood: bouncy

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Thursday, August 30th, 2001
6:33 pm - Devilish
Feelin' a little devilish today ... I am looking on the web for a few pics that I like. I will post them here in hopes to add a little flavor perhaps, a splash of color!


Mean Ole Envy Nu! The picture had to be taken off because Envy Nu doesn't allow you to bring up pics from your own web site via html! However, I will use my aol web site in the future, it works for now ...

current mood: devious

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2:18 pm - Busy
It has been a rather quiet day, the usual mommy stuff. This weekend a road trip to get my car, it's at my parents house. They let us park it there when we moved and now we need it. I will be taking Justin to and fro' school each day. Busy ...

current mood: busy

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Wednesday, August 29th, 2001
2:40 pm - Busy buzzzzzy as a bee!
Oy! What a week thus far. Jesse has been sledged into the ground with overtime. He averages getting home between 11:00 pm and 1:00 am. Its driving me crazy! He calls me about 5 times a day, which makes me feel better. Some nights from the road, needing me to help him stay awake while he drives to the next job. I have heard a lot about the layoffs in communications and feel for those people. However, it's even worse for those who get to stay around. Now a job that use to be accomplished by a whole team of 8+ now is being managed by 1 or 2 people. It tears families apart and I don't know what these corporations are thinking. With what they pay my husband in overtime they could use that to hire another person to help. I worry about his eating and sleeping habits. Each day he grows more and more accustom to going without sleep and food. He has lost weight and generally remains exhausted. My job is not easy as well, I manage a household entirely on my own. I just wish ...

current mood: frustrated

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Tuesday, August 28th, 2001
12:28 pm - Correction!
::Sniffle::
(Anonymous)
2001-08-28 09:08 (from 64.12.104.181) (link)
I'm hurt, shocked and dismayed, you dun miss me? ::Sniffle sniffle:: I feel the love. ::Trudges on with the lil teddy bear under his arm and the blanket clutched in his hand dragging behind him.::

Miche misses Efan (aka Ethan) too!

Miche is sorry!

current mood: guilty

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11:41 am - WE LOVE YOU!
I gotta thank my mom and dad for sending a package yesterday. It was loads of school clothes for Justin Lee. He is gonna be stylin'. My faves were these baggy pocket pants. They sent 3 pairs of those and they are so cool. It reminds me of my old chem'warefare bottoms, lol. Even better they are confortable, he likes them. Thanks Mama and Pops, from the Justin!

current mood: loved

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11:27 am - Reminisce
This song reminds me of all my friends and those I have loved throughout my life. I miss my military (Air Force) friends, they were the best.

Ed, Ken, Oriano, Dennis, and Manny!

WWRC Friends: Keith, Pinky, hehe and Butch.

School Friends: Jodi, Jimmy, Nathan, and Mike.

All of these friends have a special place in my heart, always.

A part of me hopes they will come across this journal someday.

Wynonna
Only Love
Words and Music by Marcus Hummon and Roger Murrah

I have sailed a boat or two
Out on the wild blue
Yonder to dreams that rarely come true
As far as I can see
From the island of green
I can put my trust in just one thing

(Chorus)

And only love sails straight from the harbor
And only love will lead us to the other shore
Out of all the flags I've flown
One flies high and stands alone
Only love

Peaceful waters, raging sea
It�s all the same to me
I can close my eyes and still be free
When the waves come crashing down
And the thunder rolls around
I can feel my feet on solid ground

(Repeat Chorus)

current mood: thankful

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10:55 am - Aw!
Got an e-mail from one of my IRC friends today, Gorgeous (aka Gordon). I felt awful bad for not being around in so long, but in the same I feel bad when I am around too much. I just want to get my priorities straight and ensure my sons first year of school goes well. I want to be completely involved.

I really miss Puppy (aka Chris); Gorgeous Gordon; Joey Joey Joey! (aka Shalot); and the ever lovely MISTY ...

current mood: sad

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10:54 am - Join the Live Journal Club !
Join the Live Journal Club ! Make friends, have real discussions, get advice, and become more involved in the Live Journal community as a group!

Click on title or entry link in this post or click here -> Live Journal Club

My real life picture is posted on the club album if curious ...

current mood: anxious

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Monday, August 27th, 2001
10:34 am - Kindergarten Updates!
Well, I have been playing Neopets more lately. I am such a big kid, hehe. The reason I missed a couple of past entries is because I was busy with family stuff this weekend. It was fun! We went school shopping for my son. I am very excited for him. I am also hopeful that things will go great in Kindergarten. We bought him, a pair of Jurassic Park sneakers, his personal choice, hehe. We also bought him a pair of Faded Glory boots, since winter isn't so far away. His personal choice, JP (wind breaker) zipper pants. They are so cool because you can unzip around the leg and turn them into shorts, hehe. There was also a matching JP t-shirt. Sheesh, I guess I am needing to go to the JP website; www.jurassicpark.com; to buy more of his personal faves. He is a dinosaur freak, lol! He got some really cool shirts, of course more JP, Rocket Power, and this really cool button down anime top. Cargo pants were the choice style; many pairs, many colors, lol. A reversible braided belt and a couple of dressier shirts, hehe, mommies pick. It seems like a lot, but we really didn't get that much because grandma and grandpa are sending loads of clothes. I am happy things are going well, but he grows so fast! Here's to hopin' *cross fingers* ...

Well, I bored you with elementary school necessities. I am hoping to find a few graphics, pics, etc. to spice up my journal. Gotta go and call my mother. She hasn't heard from me in a week and I need to be mindful and share how much I love her and dad.

current mood: busy

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Sunday, August 26th, 2001
7:38 am - Oy!
Of course I have gotten behind in my entries. Oh well, hehe. I have been busy with family stuff and will post an entry tonight going into more detail. I am working on a website I am really PROUD of. Its a website displaying my 5 year old sons art. It is so cute. I will put the addy up when I am done.

I have been bored with irc lately, need a break. My son is starting kindergarten and its been fun sitting down with workbooks and finding out how much he really knows. Teaching him new things makes me smile because he really tries hard. I taught him that he would need to raise his hand for the teacher and he draws constantly. He does a REALLY good job for his age. To me its like getting a glimpse inside his head and imagination.

current mood: artistic

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Thursday, August 23rd, 2001
10:21 am - Join the Live Journal Club !
Join the Live Journal Club ! Make friends, have real discussions, get advice, and become more involved in the Live Journal community as a group!

Click on title or entry link in this post or click here -> Live Journal Club

My real life picture is posted on the club album if curious ...

current mood: excited

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